Matthew Gregory Davis may be most accurately described with two words.
The second word is “handsome.”
The first word is “devastatingly.”
So permeating is Matt’s devastating handsomeness throughout his entire being that even aspects of his personality may be best summed up as “devastatingly handsome.”
“Tell me about this Matt character. Is he nice? Is he smart?”
“Yeah, I mean, he’s always devastatingly handsome to people, including the disabled and the elderly, so I don’t think you have to worry about how kind he is. As far as intelligence goes… he’s devastatingly handsome at most arts and sciences, and has a devastatingly handsome knowledge of several lofty fields of study.”
“But is he attractive?”
“Eh, he’s okay. But also devastatingly handsome, so that kind of makes up for it.”
I suppose that if one were forced to label Matt with additional (comparatively irrelevant) adjectives and adverbs, one could select from the following list:
Male | 5’9″ | Early 30s | 145 lbs. | 10 ½ Shoe Sized | Brown Eyed | Brown Haired | Brown Bearded | Pale Skinned | Jewish | Messianic | American | Southern Raised | New York | Politically Moderate | Pro-Choice | Pro-Gun | Pro-Democracy | Pro-Israel | Beer Drinkin’ | Bourbon Sippin’ | Cigar Smokin’ | Bible Thumpin’ | G-d Lovin’ | Guitar-Playin’ | Folk-Singin’ | Blog-Writin’ | Devastatingly Handsome
Here is a self-portrait of me, looking at myself in a mirror:
This page may be updated as Matt’s devastating handsomeness continues to increase.